Entrepreneur Turns Personal, Painful Experiences Into Winning Book
An entrepreneur-author who lost her partner in 2020 used writing to help her deal with her grief, and wrote her latest book, Heaven On Eleven, in a matter of months.
Elizabeth Barry is Josh Steimle’s latest guest on the Published Author Podcast. She tells Josh how the loss of her partner in a boating accident in January 2020 led to a growth in creativity. Elizabeth explains that Heaven on Eleven is an inspirational spiritual book given couples guidance on romantic love.
“I focused on getting that book out, because that was where my mind needed to be. It took me away from what happened,” explains Elizabeth. “I wrote about love, so that everyone who's looking for love or breaking down through their relationships can understand how to nurture it with building a foundation through healthy communication and being vulnerable with someone.”
The amazing thing is that Elizabeth completed another book last year, too. Little Book of Love was published at the same time as Heaven on Eleven.
TOP TAKEAWAY: BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT YOU WANT
As a coach of authors, Elizabeth says the biggest issue she encounters is would-be authors who want to write but for some reason aren’t accountable for their choices.
“People say: ‘Oh, I have a book half-written’, or ‘I want to write a book, but’,” she explains, noting that the word but often reveals a lack of accountability. “I think that a lot of the people that have a book inside of them that say ‘But’. But it's not really the content, it's the accountability, and they let time pass and they're sitting, they could be sitting on something that they could be so proud of.”
She says some potential writers feel comfortable in our surroundings and keep telling themselves they’ll write their book tomorrow. “Or we sit down to write and we scrap it because it's not good enough. Or we let time go by, and we put everybody else and everything else first. So the accountability, I think, is one of the biggest things.”
For other writers, there is a hesitation about starting their book due to a fear of being judged. “Imposter syndrome comes up and says: ‘Why would you write a book on that? There are other books on that’,” adds Elizabeth.
She believes that the key is just starting and using a coach to help hold an author is accountable for their goal of writing a book.
Elizabeth self-publishes all her books and sells all of them on her website. She’s used Amazon in the past but prefers to handle the marketing, printing, packaging, and distribution herself. When readers order her books, they are specially wrapped and sometimes include personal touches, such as little meditations or other items.
Her target audience is adults who are looking for personal transformation. And for entrepreneurs, her books help uplift and support. “We have to feed the soul, feed the mind, and nourish the knowledge that will give us the necessary tools to keep our businesses running.”
Elizabeth hosts her own podcast, Beyond Ego, and is a speaker and marketing pro. She has also written The Kind Communicator. In this episode, Elizabeth shares a great deal about her approach to writing, printing, why she doesn’t use Amazon, and her upcoming book, Lead By Example.
LINKS
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT
Josh Steimle
Welcome to the Published Author Podcast where we help entrepreneurs learn how to write a book and leverage it to grow their business and make an impact. I'm your host, Josh Steimle. Our guest today is Elizabeth Barry. She's got over 20 years of experience advising, coaching and speaking, and She's the author of several books, including Heaven on Eleven, Design Your Mind To Be Kind. And her latest, which came out last year 2019, The Kind Communicator. Elizabeth, welcome to the show.
Elizabeth Barry
Hi, it's very nice to be here. Thank you so much for having me.
Josh Steimle
So I'm excited to talk to you because I've been researching your background about kindness, and you've got multiple books on kindness, and you speak about kindness. And so I'm hoping that you're gonna take it easy on me today.
Elizabeth Barry
I'll be gentle with you. The title reigns true. All right.
Josh Steimle
So now I just gave you a brief introduction, dear listener to who Elizabeth is. So Elizabeth, give us some more background? Where are you from? How did you grow up? And how did you become an author?
Elizabeth Barry
Thank you. So I'm a subject matter expert in communication. And my focus is kind communication. I've been focusing on personal branding and marketing agency for the last 15 years. So I build personal brands of leaders, entrepreneurs, and in 2016, I got coached by Gary Bishop, who wrote on Unf**K Yourself, and I realized, wow, that changed my life. Because I had written a book already called Own Your Vulnerability, I had successfully curated a massive TEDx events. And I've done 17 TEDx events to date, and ran an agency. And
Josh Steimle
It's got to be some sort of record.
Elizabeth Barry
Yeah, it was, it was I was I'm like a serial entrepreneur. And I love bringing people together. And I do it very, very well. It's kind of like the art of breath, I just, it comes naturally to me. So after that, I started thinking, wow, I really want to do what Gary does. So I enveloped coaching into my marketing practice. And over the course of the last couple of years, I spirit was just coming out of me with so much more to say then, in my coaching practice, or on the stages. So I have a bunch of these books written. And I have six books written now. So that my latest one I just, I just wrote in the past month, and now I'm editing it. And I work with entrepreneurs, executives, and I'd love to coach any of the entrepreneurs on this podcast, who are looking to get a book out there and do it in the right way with their heart speaking from the heart, and making it so much less of a stressful experience than it has to be.
Josh Steimle
So tell us about your very first book that you wrote, what was the idea? What was the inspiration? And how did that come about?
Elizabeth Barry
Awesome. I'll tell you my first book was Own Your Vulnerability. But I love the story of The Kind Communicator. And I don't really tell this often. So that was the first book in the kindness series. I was, again, I'm an entrepreneur, I do lots and lots of things of my hands in all different buckets. And I ended up buying into one of the Pilates studios that I was a marketing director for for a couple years, maybe 12 years. So I was running an owning managing a Pilates studio. So for years, I had been B2B. So I got to choose my clients. And it was nice. But once I became B2C, and I was behind the desk of a Pilates studio, and there were customers that were sometimes they weren't happy. And they they did not handle themselves very well. They were not kind. And I called my business partner, I said, What do I say when they say this? And she said, Oh, you got to tell them put them in their place. So I did. And that totally backfired on me. And it wasn't working. And I saw it face-to-face. And then I switch just with like the click of a Rubik's Cube. I gave them so much love face-to-face, in emails when they weren't happy, or they couldn't use their package or whatever happened. And it was like magic. I had 4000 clients at that studio that were in love with the experience because of being a time communicator. And that book just started a true focus for me for the next couple of years. And still, I just wrote my third book on Kind Communication. And I think really, really helpful because none of us are really talking about it's like the elephant in the room. We get angry when we're normal human beings.
Josh Steimle
We have this idea that Yeah, we have to be forceful, and we have to be tough and we have to be powerful and we have to earn respect, but you're saying it's kind of the opposite in a way.
Elizabeth Barry
It is the opposite. And this is not taught in schools and most of us get into our 30s and 40s and we We look back at the baggage that we have, from society or politics or family or religion, whatever the baggage that we take into our lives and in our 30s and 40s. I love working with people in their mid-life. Because that's when someone is able to say, Okay, I have something to work on. And then they actually start to peel back the layers. It's so wonderful because I, I know what that feels like for myself to be vulnerable, to be scared to be humble to say, I really messed up I'd like to do better at and I've, my whole career is now based on that. And it's just, it's a blessing. And I keep writing more and more books about it's just wonderful to just share what's coming out of me with the world and to get to speak on podcasts like this. So thank you.
Josh Steimle
Well, that's a topic that's all too needed in 2020. There are a lot of tensions going on here and emotions fine, high, and a lot of people on social media. I mean, as we're recording this, we're a few days away from the presidential election. And a lot of people are saying things that aren't too nice on social media and everywhere else.
Elizabeth Barry
Yes, we, we have a right to our opinion. And we can like people for who they vote for, I mean, that there doesn't have to be a disconnect there. But people make it so. And, you know, the part of that is that we placed context and meaning onto words, and then we believe them with the monkey mind. So in my latest book that I wrote, it's, it's gonna I haven't told anybody about the title, I'll tell you guys now it's, it's called Lead By Example. And I'll show you, so this little person has my copy of design your mind to be kind of double infinity sign, I wrote a book about the kind communicator philosophy based on that little person. And then I just put them in my logo. But it really talks about our thoughts connecting with them with the hearts. And then the spirit softens our words. And then we share them with the world and or our actions. And there's a disc, there's so much of a disconnect there, because we say something before softening those words. And then sometimes we just believe the context that we placed onto them. And we, we cause a lot of disconnect, and disruption and relationships break down, businesses break down because of it. And we we can use a little bit of more compassion in the way that we speak and feel.
Josh Steimle
For sure, I think we all can. So a lot of the listeners of this show they're first time authors, or they haven't even become an author yet. They're working on it. They're thinking about it. When you were thinking about your first book, was it something that was scary for you? Or was it exciting? Were you . . . did you already see yourself as a writer before you wrote your first book? Or was that the book that turned you into a writer?
Elizabeth Barry
That's a beautiful question. I I've been a fan of Wayne Dyer's for years. So I don't have a television, I haven't had a TV in 24 years. So I like to watch documentaries. And I love reading self-help books. So I've been working on my own self development for over 21 years now. And I love Wayne Dyer. And I just started realizing this six books in that I'm turning into my mentor in life. And that's what he did. And over the last couple of years, I started saying I just want to move to Maui like Wayne Dyer, and write my books. But in the beginning, I didn't know that I was going to be such an author. And I'll tell you out there if you're writing your first book, once you get the first one out there, and if your spirit is calling for more, if you're not complete with that, there will be so much more beauty that comes out of your soul. And that's the good thing. Because once you get another book out, there's something that comes right in, I published a book the two books on August 22, Heaven on Eleven, and Little Book of Love. And the very next day I started the next book, and then I had it written within a month.
Josh Steimle
But you had already done it. So it made it easier, right.
Elizabeth Barry
Yeah, yeah. And it is. I would like to say that the fear is there only because we place judgments on ourselves that we're not good enough if imposter syndrome comes up and says, Well, why would you write a book on that? There's other books about that. And I actually just started a coaching business for one of the authors that have a book inside of them, because I've met so many people that say, Oh, I have a book half written, or I want to write a book but but the but they're so my podcast, and my brand is called Beyond ego. And I created something called Beyond ego publishing. Because I think that a lot of the people that have a book inside of them that say the but it's not really the content, it's the accountability, and they let time pass and, and they're sitting, they could be sitting on something that they can be so proud of. That's actually tangible. It's It's a wonderful process. So if you have fear, getting an accountability partner like myself and the journey,
Josh Steimle
So tell us more about that. How does the accountability make the difference between writing and not writing the book?
Elizabeth Barry
Well, I think that people place, they can sit on things, right like a hen sitting on an egg. And the book needs to crack open and fly. And we get really comfortable in our surroundings. And we can get really comfortable telling ourselves, I'll do it tomorrow, I'll do it tomorrow, or then we sit down to write and we scrap it, because it's not good enough. Or we let time go by and we put everybody else and everything else first. So the accountability, I think, is one of the biggest things. Again, I'm a coach. So I recognize that the people that have said to me, oh, I have a book, but I haven't gotten around to it are people that are doing so many wonderful things. So the fact that they haven't made time for that? They actually shouldn't be saying I have a book, but I think that there's accountability there for them to say, Okay, I'm gonna get coached on this and actually pull through. And there's so much beauty in that. Because again, it's like personal development, you're, you're gradually working towards a goal, especially in our second house of life, there's nothing better than taking the bull by the horns and making an intention and action and actually doing something with what's in the spirit.
Josh Steimle
So you mentioned that you published two books on the same day. Yeah. How did that come about? Was that coincidental or was that planned?
Elizabeth Barry
It was it was planned. I am the miracle of life. Speaking with you right now, I was run over by a 94,000, pound speedboat, twin engine speedboat. And I lost the love of my life on January 3 this year.
Josh Steimle
This year?
Elizabeth Barry
Yeah, this year.
Josh Steimle
I'm sorry.
Elizabeth Barry
Yeah. So on January 3 2020, I was snorkeling with the love of my life. And about came by and ran us over. I, my head was open. So I'm a miracle. And I watched him fly to heaven. And as I came back from the trip, and I was just, this is before COVID. And then COVID happened, I wanted to get this book out, Design Your Mind To Be Kind. And I did, I did it. And I actually dedicated it to him. There's beautiful quotes from him. And there's drawings that he made inside of the book.
Josh Steimle
How long were you two together?
Elizabeth Barry
We were together for a year, for 11 months. So that's why it's heaven on 11. So the thing is, I focused on getting that book out, because that that was where my mind needed to be. It took me away from what happened. And once again, the very next day of getting this book out to publish. I knew that his his birthday was on August 22, he would have been 59. And I wanted to dedicate our love story and a story of love and relationships in nurturing for the world to heal through love and to heal through communication. Because I he was 17 years older than me. And we came together in such a beautiful way. So I wrote about love, so that everyone who is looking for love or breaking down through their relationships, can understand how to nurture it with building a foundation through healthy communication and being vulnerable with someone and, and getting getting ourselves out of that place of comfort and into that discomfort or really build that the best thing that could ever happen in life, which is love.
Josh Steimle
So this was kind of amazing, because I mean, this is something that's so fresh and recent. I mean, this is it's not even a year since this happened, right? Yeah. And yet, here you are, you're talking about it. You've written a book about it. And it sounds like it was kind of therapeutic for you to write the book. I mean, you sounds like that helped you to process things. But that must have been tremendously difficult to go through that process to write the these words down to think it all through when it's still so fresh and recent.
Elizabeth Barry
It was. I cried throughout the book.
Josh Steimle
So you said that the day that you publish those two books, you started working on the next book, and you had that one finished within the next month. Did you already have the idea for that book when you were finishing up the other two or? No, it was
Elizabeth Barry
I had no idea what I was going to write about. I honestly didn't. I had a coaching session for myself because obviously I'm going through a huge transition of personal transition. Physical transition because I am injured. But I needed to reinvent who I am and what my brand is. And I got a coaching session and the coach was so powerful. I'm proud of me. It's like you are everything you need a philosophy. So I knew I was going to create the kind communicator philosophy. And again, I just I just love this image so much that I wanted to use it and I just am Here's the Little Book Of Love, that I created a philosophy. And I had the philosophy on my desktop. And then I just started writing about leadership and and I wanted to write a book for business. But it always stems back to personal professional development. So the cool part about this book is it encapsulates something that not everybody's talking about, which is spiritual intelligence. So we have IQ, EQ, emotional intelligence, and then we have spiritual intelligence. So I aligned that with the whole idea of breath, and intention and quieting the mind, which a lot of business people can do. And then and they would like to strive to do more of that.
Josh Steimle
So with The Kind Communicator, you said, the audience for this was business Did you have a specific type of business person in mind, as you're writing this?
Elizabeth Barry
I believe that all the books are based on adults who are looking for personal transformation. And for entrepreneurs, they, you know, we get down on ourselves, we don't know what tomorrow will bring, there could be a fire, and we're responsible at the end of the day as an entrepreneur. So to keep ourselves up, up up, we have to feed the soul, feed the mind and nourish the knowledge that will give us the necessary tools to keep our businesses running. And so that's really where the that target market for the books for businesses are. And then for executives, I coach a lot of executives that are they're in corporate environments, or in small and mid sized business environments.
Josh Steimle
So you wrote it in one month, what was your process like, because that's amazingly fast. I mean, it's extremely hard to write a book, most people take six to 12 months to write their book. And so for you to write this in one month, what did that look like on a daily basis?
Elizabeth Barry
Well, um, so it was at the end of the summer, so August 22, I put the book out, and then I didn't have anything to to edit anymore. So I started it. And it was just an idea dump. Like I said, I have this kind communicator philosophy. And I didn't even go to I didn't even build the philosophy. And so later on in the process, Now, of course, I'm going to spend at least three months editing it because, you know, it's not nearly complete. But the process was just an idea dump. So the process for me was that I just idea dumped it came up with the chapters. Again, I'll refine them, but this one was a really ? And I, of course, I will spend a few months editing it. But it was just, I knew I wanted to talk about leadership.
Josh Steimle
So with this, the kind of communicator, you said, you edited it for a few months afterwards, did you hire an editor? Did you edit it by herself? or What did that look like?
Elizabeth Barry
I use Fiverr. So I find editors on Fiverr. And that work for my budget, and they go through. And I didn't want anyone to edit Heaven on Eleven. Because it was so special for me, I didn't want anybody to touch it. So I didn't have anyone, my designer helped me. You know, she's like, Elizabeth, you gotta move that around. You gotta do something with that. And I'm like, thank you. But I do I use fiber. It's really easy. And it's simple. And there are people looking for work, and some of them are good, some of them are not good. And you kind of just have to take some of those risks with it. But I definitely recommend you need an editor. We all need an editor. I am not the best with grammar. And sometimes we really do need an extra set of eyes as a professional and an expert. Yeah.
Josh Steimle
What time of day works best for you for writing? Are you a morning writer, evening writer, or just whenever it strikes you.
Elizabeth Barry
I am a morning writer, I usually go to bed like 9:30, 10 I'm like an early bird. But with this next book, I find myself if because in the beginning, I was doing some of the yoga practices and that's a lot of hours plus work. I found myself being taken away from it in the mornings. So I take my laptop into bed. And I don't really believe in digital in the bedroom because I just like the bedroom to be a healing space. But I just love the book so much. But I think that writing in the morning is really clear. Because we get up and we like the whatever the mind was creating while we were sleeping. It's ready to be shared. And that works best for me. I'm not a night owl. I'm not one of those creatives that stays up all night burning midnight oil. I like I like to be in bed.
Josh Steimle
So in terms of getting the word out about these books, marketing it What have you done in terms of marketing and spreading the word?
Elizabeth Barry
Great question. It's so very difficult and I'm a marketing expert. So you know the one thing is it's so hard to market yourself. So it's it's it's really nice to partner with other people. So I have I have a podcast and I have a Facebook group called Beyond Ego. So I share the book there. I've partnered with people to speak at conferences. And so I give talks about my books. So I use the talk titles. And I align the talk title with the book title. And I go into small businesses and corporations and brands. And I look for events like SXSW, which I was going to be speaking this year before COVID happened. And I look for, for partners, and I do deals. So if someone wants to buy books in bulk, I can give them both orders and give a talk. So there's countless ways in which we can do it. But I think partnering and bulk orders, like for instance, it's going to be gratitude month in November. So I'm going to give free shipping on all of my books. And then, on special days, I'll just say and if anyone wants to buy one book set, I will send another book set to a friend as a gift, in light of gratitude month.
Josh Steimle
Someone once said that the best marketing for your book is your next book, has this been true for you?
Elizabeth Barry
Well, you know, I think for me, because I get them out so much, I almost was thinking I was going to get this next book out before January 2021. And then I was like, Elizabeth, you're putting a little bit too much down people's throats. Because I have fans that buy all of the books. It sounds like maybe we should just slow down a little bit and give that to them. Like I said, I have readers texting me, sending me emails, posting things online, because I'm changing their lives. And it just the marketing and the pressure and the sales, get to so many people to want more and to once so want to go so big and absolutely, I want to be big, I want so many people to be reading my books, I need to be out there in the masses. But at the end of the day, I'm sitting here enjoying the process. And as long as I can change one or two or three lives, and I'm feeling good about it.
Josh Steimle
That's a great perspective to have. So are there other ways that you measure success? I mean, part of how you've said you measure success is that you're getting these messages, you're getting direct feedback from your audience. And of course, you have book sales, but are there any other ways that you measure success, and you're able to look at what you've done and say, that makes it worth it right there?
Elizabeth Barry
Creating something is a great measure of success, because there are a lot of people that aren't sharing some of their their best with the world because they're too frightened to do so. And I think that a great measure of success is to be proud of the work.
Josh Steimle
So you've self published all of your books. Is that correct? Do you got your Amazon KDP? Or Ingramspark? or How did you do that?
Elizabeth Barry
That's a great question. So I don't go through Amazon anymore. I did in the beginning. So I put the first book on your vulnerability through Amazon and KDP. All of the other books are actually on there, except for Heaven on Eleven and Little love book. So I did all of them through KDP and Amazon. But when I went to go put design your mind to be kinda on there. It's a big book, 279 pages, but they wanted to give Amazon gives me $1 This book is $35. So they give me $1 for every book, and I was like, well, that's silly. So I don't promote the books on Amazon anymore. But I sell everything through my website. And I like doing that because I customize it. I have little cards, I put stamps on things, I put sunflower seeds, there's a service called Media Mail, that gives you a little bit of a cheaper rate. And, and then I make all the profit. So once I make the bulk orders from my original investment, I found a great printer. So it's a last word, You get them printed them? And I have a printer in New Jersey, I once I realized that that book was going to be $1 for me for every 30. And then, you know, Amazon gets 34 I was like no new. So I looked around I talked to a lot of printers, it was so expensive. But I found a great printer that I use, and I would recommend them. They're called lightning press. And they're in New Jersey, but I recommend also finding a printer in your state. So you're not paying for shipping because books can be very heavy. The books come in boxes of 50.
Josh Steimle
So with Lightning Press, is that who you use to print The Kind Communicator as well?
Elizabeth Barry
They The Kind Communicator was actually on Amazon, they were given $7 per book. Um, but again, I use I don't really I use the Lightning Press. Yeah. And then they, they give me a nice bulk order. I mean, it's not nice. You have to spend a lot of money on these books and then the $1000s but it's better but the other thing to know Dear listeners, is that Amazon, when you buy you buy your own books to them sell and give away, you don't get free shipping, you pay tax on them. So you know for, I think for $50 bucks or $600 or $700. Now and then it's, it's, it's silly, it's silly,
Josh Steimle
I guess. So even if you're going to sell books on Amazon, you might want to sell books through Amazon through KDP. But then if you're going to be giving a lot away, or you're selling from the stage, you're doing an event, then you can go find a custom printer near you. And you can buy those books a lot cheaper, right? Yeah. Can you share any pricing information with us to give listeners an idea of what they might be able to get books for? If they go through a local printer?
Elizabeth Barry
It depends. It depends on the size of the book, it depends on the quality of the paper, the quality of the cover, I always get the highest stock. Are you getting mad? Are you getting glass, either color images, or black and white images or no images at all?
Josh Steimle
So with the kind of communicator, you said, you are printing it through Amazon, or you're printing it through lightning press,
Elizabeth Barry
I they I print everything now through lightning press, but they are listed on Amazon, this is on Amazon, on Amazon, so I'm not but I don't promote it there. Whenever I tell anybody about my books, I send them to my website, and I send them out myself.
Josh Steimle
Right? So with the books that are on on Amazon, are those books that were printed by lightning press then and then you send them to Amazon. So you you're producing it through two places through Amazon. And through lightning press.
Elizabeth Barry
Yeah, there is a there's like a seller thing that you can do, you can set yourself up as a seller on Amazon, but I think it's like $25 a month or $35 a month. And like if I could just send them through my my website, it's just simpler. And then I have the ebooks on all of my books like the digital versions on iBooks, as well as Kindle. So we do we upload them as well.
Josh Steimle
Gotcha. When you go through lightning press, how long does it take to get an order? If you send them the file? Or I mean, I guess they have the file on file. But if you say hey, I need 100 more books, how long does it take for them to turn that around for you?
Elizabeth Barry
If they already have the file? It's it's like a week and even with the new book, it's like two weeks. So it's not too bad. Yeah, don't don't do a book event. Unless you know, you're going to have the book in hands. Make sure that you have the book,
Josh Steimle
What are some of the most valuable things that you've learned along the way?
Elizabeth Barry
The learning process of getting a getting a printer instead of doing it from Amazon, that's huge. Learning about the normal size for a book I think is 179 pages. Heaven on Eleven is 199. And it's a it's a six by nine. So this is what a six by nine looks like. So I can tell how many pages how many words I just wrote. My new book has about 30,000 words. So I asked my my book designer, she's my partner in crime. I was like, what, how? Because I want to do it as a four by six. So I said how many paid how many words is having on 11? And I think it's like 15,000. So the next book would be double this thickness. So the thickness of the books. And I think that finding my own printer was valuable. But again, that's just me not everybody wants to send out books and go to the post office all the time. But I I work for myself, I'm an entrepreneur, I don't have kids. And I really like to, again, personalize it.
Josh Steimle
Well, Elizabeth, thank you so much for spending this time with us today. This has been some great information on your journey. And thank you for sharing such personal, painful experiences. But this is valuable for us and our listeners. And I really appreciate that. where's the best place for people to find you?
Elizabeth Barry
You can visit me at the kindcommunicator.com
Josh Steimle
Perfect. All right. Thank you so much, Elizabeth. I appreciate this time with you today. And thank you so much and we'll be in touch.
Elizabeth Barry
Awesome. Thank you.
Josh Steimle
If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe. And if you want to spread the word, please give us a five star rating review and tell your friends to subscribe to. We're available on Apple podcasts, Spotify, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts. And if you're an entrepreneur interested in writing and publishing a nonfiction book to grow your business and make an impact, visit published author.com for show notes for this podcast and other free resources.
